Having the perfect teacher can enhance your chances of learning a foreign language considerably, and there are no finer teachers than Professor Frank John Dubokovich, Guardian of the Hvar Dialects.
With his expert knowledge and considerable patience (although not as patient as the waiters listening to his 30-second specific way or ordering coffee), I have learned things I never needed to know about Hvar dialect. Fun fact – did you know, for example, that there are 8 different words for ‘chisel’ on the island of Hvar. The bigger joke, perhaps, is that it is all but impossible to actually buy a chisel on the island.
The Professor is a master at keeping words to a minimum, unless of course, he is ordering that coffee. In terms of mastering the basic Dalmatian greetings, there is nobody who can touch the Professor in terms of making each syllable count. His legendary Dalmatian Grunt, below, quickly went global when it was unleashed on an unsuspecting Internet a decade ago.
More archive footage has emerged of the Professor demonstrating the shortest and most common conversation in Croatia. It is a conversation you hear EVERYWHERE in Dalmatia.
And it is incredibly easy to learn.
One question, one answer, 4 words, 5 syllables. How hard can that be?
The conversation goes as follows:
Di si?
Evo me.
Which literally translates as (‘Di’ is dialect for ‘Gdje’)
Where are you?
Here I am.
End of conversation.
Deep.
And there you have it. Along with the grunt, you have greeted your companion, enquired after their health (sort of), and are now free to enjoy the morning newspaper.
When it comes to coffee, however, the Professor has a LOT more to say.
The only footage I have of the Professor ordering a coffee is this video with former Australia Socceroos assistant coach, Ante Milicic, who was so impressed by the Professor’s teachings that he has his voice both as his ringtone and wakeup call. And no, I am not kidding.
For more inspiring lessons from the linguistic colossus that is Professor Frank John Dubokovich, visit the TCN Talks YouTube channel.
