Check the job description and qualifications before you apply
If you’re one of several thousand of Croats looking through daily job postings, then you probably didn’t miss this ad published on Croatia’s largest online job board www.posao.hr on December 17, 2015 for a very interesting position indeed, that of the Prime Minister of Croatia!
I am guessing they got tired of the ping pong match between MOST, HDZ and SPD and decided to find our new Prime Minister they way any company would look for a qualified candidate – through a standard advertisement. But before you decide to send in your resume, let’s look at the job description, shall we? And of course, if you’re still not sure where Croatia is, a Wikipedia link was kindly provided for you.
Job description:
• forming of the government (good luck with that one with three parties that can’t seem to agree to disagree)
• coming up with election manifests and taking pictures with citizens that actually believe in them
• lobbying for the implementation of laws, regulations and ordinances
• appointing and dismissing Ministers in your Government
• develop or simply copy someone else’s economic programme
• signing of various documents (at your own recognisance)
• giving directions to vice presidents, ministers and other members of the Government
• defending Croatian territory from Slovenia
• realisation of the project connecting islands Krk and Brač with a bridge
• enticing national birthrate by all means necessary
• banning work on Thursday (makes it a lot easier to create long weekends)
• finding statistical measurements that show the growth of GDP
• proposing national budget (another easy task)
• employing friends, cousins and acquaintances in state administration offices
• you will have to get your picture taken with the President (sorry Milanović)
• cutting of red ribbons and visiting various gala events (weight gain is very probable)
• other jobs as set by the law and the Constitution
Please note this is a 4 year position.
Special perks: Private plane, hot meal, personal bodyguard (24/7), access to secret service files, unlimited number of subordinates to blame for your mistakes, frequent business trips abroad and the possibility of advancement to the position of the President.
Still having second thoughts whether you should apply? Read on!
Skills and qualifications:
• non party member
• at least a High School Diploma
• must have vast knowledge of the current political situation in Croatia
• being familiar with the law and the way our government functions is an advantage
• public speaking skills are a must
•good command of the English language
• it is an advantage to have your own “American guy” to optimize the cost of the Government’s office
• it is an advantage for the candidate to have faith that he/she will or will not become the next Prime Minister of Croatia
There it is. A bit of humour to let us forget about the fact that we are not even an inch closer to getting a new government. Pomalo, as they would say here in Dalmatia. There’s plenty of time.
