Happy March 8th to all our wonderful, courageous and brilliant ladies.
Don’t pull their hair.
Don’t lift up their skirt.
Never cop the field unless invited.
Hold the door for her.
If she doesn’t have a place to sit, give her yours.
Give her your hand when she’s stepping out of the car.
When you’re walking into a place, let her in first.
Unless it’s a restaurant, then you enter first.
Pour her a drink.
Buy her flowers.
When you’re going up the stairs, let her walk behind you.
When it comes to “those things” she comes first.
Make the first move; don’t wait for her to do it.
Always offer to pay the check.
Never, ever forget an anniversary.
Don’t forget Valentine’s Day.
Birthdays too..
Give her your jacket if she feels cold.
Give her your hand when you’re getting on a boat.
Help her with the zipper on the back of her dress.
If she’s being harassed, offer help but don’t punch the other guy right away, she might get upset.
She might get upset if you don’t punch him.
Be nice to her mother.
(Almost) All of the above applies to her mother too.
And her sister.
And every other woman.
Unless you’re with her, then you’re not allowed to look at anyone else.
Save all the messages she sends you.
Kiss her goodnight.
See the world with her.
Keep your calendar close so you know when you’re about to step into a minefield.
Buy her a chocolate.
Never comment on her driving.
Let her comment on your driving.
If she finds any woman beautiful, you don’t.
If she doesn’t find her beautiful, neither do you.
If she finds a man attractive, keep quiet, you said that woman was beautiful (or didn’t).
And buy her a chocolate again.
Or Nutella.
Compliment on her shoes.
If she asks if she’s put on weight, the answer is always no.
NO!
When she tells you that you’re lying, swear on your mother.
When she’s keeping quiet, do the same but not for long.
When she tells you everything is fine, it’s not.
Don’t try to be smart, it’s not!
And don’t forget March 8th.
Don’t forget March 8th.
Don’t forget March 8th…..
