January the 30th, 2024 – There are countless tourists in Dubrovnik each summer, but we’d recommend checking some facts before your arrival… Here are the top 15 funniest questions asked by tourists in Dubrovnik, by local guide Jelena Tamindzija.
Born and bred in Dubrovnik, I had the opportunity to be asked inexplicably stupid queries on numerous occasions that left me speechless. Below are just a few of the most “unique” questions and comments put to me by some, erm… rather creative tourists in Dubrovnik.
1. “So, do you dismantle the City Walls during the winter period?”
Me: Yes, we close our Disneyland and Mickey and Minnie Mouse can go on their holidays…
2. American woman: “Why do you have so much water in Croatia?”
Me: “You mean, like the fresh water resources? Oh, we have plenty of them, actually Croatia is…”
American woman: “No, no, like the water, I mean around us? (points at the sea) Is it because it rains here all the time?”
I die inside.
3.“So, do you have high schools in Dubrovnik?”
Me: No, we just rent Airbnb apartments and open restaurants, we don’t need schools.
(Well, actually…)
4.“Did you build these walls in the 1990’s when the Serbs attacked you?”
Me: What… the…?
5.“Is Russian the official language in Croatia?
Me: Njet!
6.“The bay of Ston is full of trash, we did not expect this in Croatia. We were told the water is beautiful here!”
Me: Gives them a guide book on how to catch oysters the old-fashioned way.
7.“Can Serbs cross the border and enter Croatia now?”
Me: Yes, this is Europe, not the Middle East…
8.“We sat in front of the St. Blaise church and drinks were very expensive!”
Me: Try sitting behind it.
9.“I paid 30 euros per night for my room and I didn’t have a sea view.”
Me: Once I went to Paris as a student and paid 20 euros per night at the hostel. I did not have the Eiffel tower view either, such a pity.
10.“Can we cross the bay and go to Italy by kayak?”
Me: Well… nothing’s impossible…
11. “I met one girl called Ivana in Split, she’s very nice. Maybe you know her, tall, brown hair. She’s Croatian too.”
Me: Ivana you say? Yep, with a name as unusual as that, I’m sure I know her.
12. “You have a lot of eco products and organic food here. Why?”
Me: That’s the norm in Croatia.
13.”Do we get locked in the Old Town if we don’t leave by midnight?”
Me: Yes, you better carry blankets with you, it gets cold during the night.
14. On Lokrum island:
”Why do they call it the “dead sea”? Who died here?
Me: Baffled.
15.”So how come you decided to be Croatian?”
It was cheaper than being Swiss.
