Daniela Rogulj’s article on TCN on why not to date a Dalmatian man on December 8, 2016 attracted plenty of interest and (mostly) good-humoured debate, with plenty of reaction for and against on social media. An alternative view and appreciation from another TCN writer in Dalmatia, Tash Pericic.
Having recently read the article ‘Why I would never Date a Dalmatian’, I have to admit, I did have a few giggles *glances up to see husband in grey sweatpants*… but, being from New Zealand and married to a Dalmatian guy myself, I feel the need to stand up for Dalmatian men.
I wrote a comment to the author saying, “Perhaps myself and my girl-friends are the lucky ones” or maybe I found the last unicorn… but whatever the reason, here is my defense…
13 reasons why you should marry a Dalmatian.
1. He’s good with his hands
Heads out of the gutter ladies (but if you’re wondering, the answer is yes…), a Dalmatian guy can generally fix or build most anything – a lost art in this day and age. Recently I visited London and had girlfriends tell me they have to ‘hire a hubby’ to do the most basic things around the house; I sat back quite contented thinking – right now my husband is laying new floorboards in our apartment!
2. Image doesn’t mean much
“Their go-to wardrobe are grey sweatpants”, OK this one might be true. Actually my husband would live in his sweatpants or work overalls if he could and sometimes I have to secretly throw out his clothes with holes in… but when it comes down to it, they dress up when needed and honestly, I like the fact that they aren’t obsessed with image and consumerism.
3. The close family unit
“When you date a Dalmatian guy, you have to get along with his mother” – the fact is, when you date or marry ANY guy, you are marrying into their family too. Family is extremely important in Dalmatia and in a world where the close family unit is a thing of the past, I truly love this aspect of Croatia. For better or worse and all of the crazy quirks that come with it, the Dalmatian family is one that will love you fiercely as their own – which will include checking you are warm enough (kidneys included) are happy, have had enough to eat (note: you have never had enough to eat)…
4. Respect for elders
I may be doubling up here, but this required its own note. Seeing the love and respect Dalmatian men have for their Dida (Grandad) and Baba (Grandma) is nothing short of beautiful. Our elders are our ties to the past, a wealth of knowledge, wisdom and love. Coming from a Maori culture where respect for elders is ingrained, I have instant respect for any culture with this same value.
5. Living in Dalmatia
While it may be true for some Dalmatian men that they would never dream of living anywhere other than Dalmatia, to this I say – with over 1,000 islands strung along the Dalmatian coast, crystalline waters, stunning nature, incredible weather (note: it is December and I have just come back from a hike in a t-shirt) world-class produce and cuisine… it’s not the worst place in the world to be ‘stuck’.
6. If music be the food of love, play on…
My husband is a drummer and almost every Dalmatian guy I know has some affiliation with music, whether that is playing an instrument or singing Klapa (traditional acapella), whatever it may be, music is a huge part of the culture. To me, there is nothing better than sitting around a fire, passing around the Bukara (oversized wooden cup filled to the brim with red wine) and hearing family or friends burst into song. Music tells a story and is at the heart of most all ancient cultures.
7. An endless supply of wine, olive oil, potatoes…
If you marry a Dalmatian, it will mean you lose him for a period when it comes time to harvest the family olives, grapes or any kind of produce… BUT, this just means you have an endless supply of wine, olive oil, potatoes, tomatoes, salad… Seriously, how many people can say this these days? With the growing issues with GMOs & pesticides, I will take my home-grown goods any day!!
8. Men of principles
I cannot argue against the fact that there are a lot of traditionalists in Dalmatia (which isn’t always a positive), but many “old-fashioned values” also include: loving & respecting their family and elders, working hard, building a home filled with love, respecting women, sharing duties, supporting their wives… Maybe it’s a modern twist on “old-fashioned values” but the Dalmatian men I know are definitely men of these principles.
9. Passion in the right place
If you date or marry a Dalmatian, chances are he works on or has some connection to the sea. My husband is a Captain and has been working at sea for more than 15 years, to say it is his passion is an understatement – but I believe a man should be passionate about something and if that ‘thing’ happens to be working with and protecting nature – even better. Not to mention, you will get to go on that boat!
10. Speedos
OK, this isn’t really a ‘why you should marry a Dalmatian’ and is unfortunately true of Dalmatian men, but, side note – ever seen the body of water-polo players? Now there’s a sport we can all get into ladies!
11. Dalmatia, where the real men are
For a long while, my single gals and I had a running joke – where are the real men??? After living, working and dating all around the world, I found them in Dalmatia. Yes, they can be stubborn and fiery, but it also means they are protective, strong, passionate, confident and worth mentioning again – good with their hands!
12. Not bad in and around the kitchen
Whether men are great in the kitchen or not, I think it is fair to say, in most cultures there are ‘go-to’ meals that most men can cook; Dalmatian men are no exception. All the men I know here can cook Juhu (soup, with meat of course), Fažol (beans & sausage), Grilled meat or fish, Peka (traditional Dalmatian dish – vegetables, meat, herbs and olive oil, cooked under burning embers in an iron bell-like dome) and of course every man loves to do a pig or lamb on the spit. No complaints here.
13. Chivalry and the romantic side
Coffee culture is strong here in Dalmatia, but not so much the ‘going on dates’ culture, regardless of this, they have their ways. So while they may be men of few words at times, their actions speak volumes, from opening car doors to proposals, Dalmatian men are far more chivalrous and romantic than they let on. I married my guy in a whirlwind romance, but I’m not the only one with a romantic story, my friend shared this:
“We went for a long weekend away (yes it was in Dalmatia, but still, read on…) organized entirely by my fiancé, we had a private table by the pool and a pre-organized 5-course meal, he was unusually nervous, considering he is generally uber-confident (the reason I fell for him to begin with); all of a sudden 6 men started walking towards us singing – it was a local Klapa group, he then dropped to one knee and proposed, the most incredible moment of my life”…
Of course, I can’t divulge the name of this guy because no Dalmatian man would ever want his friends to know he has a romantic side…
The thing is every culture has it quirks and stereotypes generally exist for a reason, but after being married for 2 years and conferring with girlfriends, I can say that there are very good reasons to marry a Dalmatian. All jokes, innuendo and satire aside, we all know that the true measure of man doesn’t lie in where he comes from, but rather in his own character and integrity. Like anything in life, good things take time, so maybe it is just a matter of finding one of the ‘good ones’…
