If you are a tourist, look away – Croatia, and Croatian beer, are amazing.
There is a Croatian word, which isn’t very Croatian, and you don’t need to speak Croatian to know its meaning – Ufff.
The Office – 2002 – 2017. I left it unguarded (schoolboy error) when I moved to Varazdin this winter.
But I promised to be back.
The first signs came at Easter. The guys from Zagreb with the marketing budget, but no idea how to make beer, had obviously been in touch. As they say in Croatian – Ufff.
At least the decent beer, Lasko, was still in the fridge, and the only reference to the crap beer was on the awning above, and the menu, neither of which I look at.
Until today.
The Office, 15 years of loyal service, with a simple drinking ethic – #NoCrapBeer. The new tables – promoting crap beer.
The eco warriors of Eco Hvar stepped up to the plate rather well. With (for some) weightier topics of pesticides and animal shelters to consider, they realised the seriousness of the situation. A Zuja takeover of the office would be the latest extension of the new Croatia after the controversial concession law was passed. One law for those in the know and a taste for crap beer, and the rest of us can swim and drink elsewhere. Time for a stand against concession owners banning access to beaches, the necessity to drink crap beer, and other important subjects.
How to protest? Resistance is futile. A kebab and a Lasko (please note the paper to avoid contamination) was my initial response.
But I really admired the eco-warriors. Theirs was the only table not covered in Zuja-crapness, and the Zuja rep could not leave until all the tables were covered. Sadly – and understandably – with poisons and animal shelters to fight for, this was not the most important battle of their lives.
And so they gave way to a fat pink Brit, with a little more passion for the crisis at hand. But he too realised that the battle was futile. Zuja Man was circling with his crap beer table cover, and the Lasko juice was going through the system. At some point, a toilet break would be necessary. And on return, the Zujafikacija of a once great establishment would commence.
If you don’t drink beer, the cakes and pastries are exceptional. It has been a great 15 years.
If you are a Jelsa bar owner who stocks cold Lasko or Staro Pramen at a good price, contact us at [email protected], preferably by midday tomorrow.
