1. Clothes do not make the man. A port does not make the island. Don’t be too quick to judge.
Rogac port where the ferry from Split comes does not impress a traveller. Like most people, I had visited the more popular island of Brac before I went to Solta. Rogac loses out to shiny Supetar, the biggest city on Brac. The port of Rogac is tiny, there is nothing to do there, no people. However, exactly here in Rogac, the first strange story happened to me in the first hour after my arrival. I found one good angle between the yachts at the marina and sat down to take an on-arrival picture. Then someone called out to me…
“Do you know what this is in front of you?” a senior man asked me.
“No, I don’t,” I said. “I know what is a boat, a yacht, a ship, and this vessel is somewhere between a boat and a yacht, closer to a boat, of course, but what exactly it is, I’ve no idea,” I thought.
“Are you a journalist?”
“No, I’m just a tourist. I came here for the weekend. I’m from Russia but currently work in Split.”
“What do you think about your president?”
The question put me in an awkward position. This grandpa in a baseball cap with a canister in his hand, similar to a grandpa from ‘Gravity Falls’, looked nice. The matter was tricky. What’s his opinion? What if our minds are the opposite? I did not want to argue with him. Senior people rarely change their minds, thus even my MD in political science wouldn’t help me.
“It’s hard to answer in one sentence about his 18 years of the presidency,” I started to draw back the fire. Milan, that’s his name, interrupted me. He told me that our president is a strong person he’d like to have as a major somewhere in Dalmatia. He said that he’d like to get vaccinated with the ‘Sputnik V’ vaccine. I guess that these statements should be regarded as a gesture of goodwill to me in any case.
Actually, Milan knows about Russian-Croatian relations much more than the average person. He knows admiral Mate Zmayevic (born in the city of Perast, Dalmatia) who fought for Peter I in the Northern War, Alex Dundic (born in the village of Grabovac, Dalmatia) who fought for the Red Army in the Russian Civil War. He listens to Russian opera stars Elina Garancha, Anna Netrebko, Dmitry Khvorostovsky, and others. It’s surprisingly pleasant for a broad-minded person far from tourist and nomad routes.
2. Take the initiative to talk to locals on the island.
Solta has wonderful nature and climate. Traditions of producing olive oil, wine, and honey here originate from ancient times. But since Solta Island is not very popular among tourists, you’ll need to make more effort to get it. Even as you go to the island already prepared by informational sources, you have to be ready to ask, perhaps, to clarify something about wine tasting, olive oil tasting, or a honey farm. You go here ahead of the masses, take the initiative to start a conversation, and keep it!
I regret that I did not answer ‘yes’ to Milan’s question of whether I was a journalist. Then I’d have more chances to guide our conversation to the topics I am interested in. Otherwise, it happened so that we were talking about themes that interest mostly a social group 70+-year-olds:
- life after death (Milan suffered two strokes and saw something on the other side);
- The Dulce Laboratory in New Mexico where human-alien hybrids were created;
- Orion correlation theory that says about the connection between the pyramids of Giza and the Orion belt;
- indigo children;
- masons, etc.
Certainly, I’d better answer that I’m a travel journalist and interested in things like what to eat, what to do, etc. So that, if somebody asks you on Solta, you can use the following answers I prepared in advance. “I’m a tourist from <…> and a wine lover.”I’m a traveller and a gourmand hunting the local specialties.”
3. Don’t be afraid to go around the island alone.
Saying goodbye, Milan wondered why I was here alone. “You don’t have to go alone. Find yourself a husband. Not me, I’m too old for you, I’m over 72…”
I guess it was his joke about the age gap problem to marry me, because earlier he’d mentioned his wife was waiting for him at home, their three children, other common stuff.
Then he relented: “Well, all right, you can go alone. Don’t be afraid. There are no poisonous snakes on the three Dalmatian islands – Solta, Lastovo, and Vis islands. But there are black widow spiders and ticks…”
As planned, I went through Grohote and Gornje Selo to Stomorska that I considered the most beautiful and lively town on the island. Besides, I was caught up in wanting to check a remark of my Croatian colleague that Stomorska on Solta looks similar to Povlja on Brac. He said it to me once I just got back from Brac. He really encouraged me, thus I’m not going to share if it looks similar or not. Go and check it by yourself!
I went through almost all the island – from Rogac to Stomorska – by foot. It was a safe and quiet way, not a lot of cars passed me. For sure, it’d be more convenient to go by bicycle, but if you have the time it’s possible on foot. On my way back I accepted a proposal of one passing car to take me to the port. I guess you can also have this possibility in mind. As far as there are no regular buses, it’s a kind of local solidary to take somebody by car.
One difficulty I faced in Stomorska was the fact that all the cafes and restaurants were closed. I came before the beginning of the tourist season and caught the middle of constructing and cleaning works around terraces, but it was closed. We might endlessly watch water, fire, and other people working, but not on an empty stomach.
4. If something goes wrong, you can always sleep on the beach.
I didn’t plan on going to Solta a second time. I have already visited the largest and most beautiful town of Stomorska. I met a wonderful grandpa Milan who told me that Split needs a mayor like the Russian president and that our bodies are just food for aliens secretly dealing with the government. What else is needed?
Then my Split friend Andrea tried to convince me that the most beautiful place on the island is Maslinica, not Stomorska. Andrea knows it for sure, because her aunt lives in Maslinica, and she’s there every summer.
However, I still couldn’t decide whether to go – to Brac or Solta – for Saturday sunbathing. At the last moment, I blurted out “Solta” at the checkout. “On the first ferry, please!” I totally forgot that the first ferry is at 6:40 am. “Nevermind, I’ll go to sleep earlier today!” Then I recognised this ticket purchase was a fundamentally wrong decision. That Friday we celebrated Sveti Duje, the day of the saint patron of Split. There was no chance for me to escape the celebration and go to sleep earlier.
A suddenly emerged thought saved me from the desire to throw the ferry ticket into the sea from the pier where we celebrated Split City Day in the middle of an incredible post-covid standard crowd until 2:00 am. I thought that I could sleep on the beach of Maslinica on Solta. After 3.5 hours of sleep at home, I packed up and ran to the ferry.
5. Sometimes it is helpful to talk to a homeless man.
Solta is the closest island to Split. By ferry, one way takes only one hour. Once I’d settled on the ferry, I fell asleep. Thank you to the kind Croatian woman next to me who woke me up! At the port of Rogac I checked Google maps – 2 hours walk to Maslinica. 20 minutes later I reached one of the three ‘towns’ of Solta where you can find a supermarket.
Entering the supermarket I noticed a very colorful homeless man on the bench in front of it. He looked like Ali Baba. Red down jacket, harem pants, white apron, blue hoodie tied around the neck instead of a scarf. Fingerless gloves. A black beret holding a tuft of long gray hair and a gray beard. I had to restrain myself from taking a picture of him. I was not going to sponsor his vodka.
I had to restrain myself, but failed at the checkout. Too good a type! He was standing on the other side of the glass door while he noticed me taking a picture of him. He was waiting for me at the exit. “Take an initiative talking with locals. Don’t be afraid!” I calmed myself. “Please, sir, may I take a picture of you?”
On the fifth attempt, the homeless man guessed that I was from Russia. Novorossiysk (Russian port) – Izmail (today’s Ukraine) – Gori (Georgia). That’s in general how his path in USSR looked like. His work had something to do with the sea as I understood. “I had a great company in the Crimea,” he said. “I still remember those five Russian women surrounding me: Lyuba, Zoya, Nina…” It seems to be true, in those days the names were popular in the Soviet Union. The man was in Poland as well, in the Czech Republic. He worked in France for six months, then in the United States…
He remembered a few sentences in Russian. Here on the island, there were some Russian girls in Necujem. He taught them three main phrases in Croatian:
- Mi se svije Hrvatska. (I like Croatia).
- Ja ću se udati za Dalmatinca. (I will marry a Dalmatian man).
- Ja sam dobra pička. (I’m a good p***y).
Well, I can trace some logical connection here…
6. Have a list of souvenirs from Solta.
Homeless Ali Baba asked me how long would I stay in Croatia. He began to think about what souvenirs should I send to my family in Russia. Solta olive oil, Solta honey, Solta wine, Rogac bean for baking, lavender…
“I will collect it for the next time you come to Solta. I have oil, wine, a farm, 7 chickens, 2 houses… You can sleep in one of them, and I’ll stay in the other. Is it okay? Take some lavender I picked this morning. Here you are. Do you know that there are two types of lavender? Do you want a chocolate bar?”
I jumped aside as Ali Baba touched me with lavender. Flowers do not excuse the whole stench. And the worst thing was his long nails. I was at a loss. Some parts of his story seemed plausible. However, I could not find any logical connection between his own farm and the homeless look. Two houses? I’m not going to believe in it.
The situation that we were standing in the center of the town nearby the only supermarket seemed even stranger. People passed us by us every five minutes. They greeted Ali, in response he defiantly showed me to everyone. “Look, such a beautiful Russian is talking to me!” Passersby looked at me with a grain of compassion, but they passed by further. Then one of the passers-by had heard that I was on my way to Maslinica and offered to give me a ride. He was going in the same direction. Thank you, Igore! I quickly got in the car.
Recap
1. Clothes do not make the man.
In the end, I got to Maslinica in 15 minutes by car, not in 2 hours by foot. On the way, Igor explained to me that Marin Kumin (that’s the true name of ‘Ali Baba’) was not homeless. He does have things he mentioned. He’s not a foolish man. Unfortunately, he went crazy in the sea about two years ago. Since then he has not been washing, shaving, cutting his hair. It looks scary from the outside. But he’s not what he seems to be.
2. Take the initiative to talk to locals on the island.
I would probably consider the breakfast that Igor fed me after we came to Maslinica – coffee and toast with Solta honey – as a part of traditional Dalmatian hospitality. But the best lunch I’ve had in Dalmatia would never happen if I had left his place in a rush, without any conversation. I asked about a fishery on the island – I had lunch with Igor and his friends-fishermen. We ate the tuna they caught the day before. I had only known about tuna from canned food and Hemingway’s story ‘The Old Man and the Sea’. My concepts were turned upside down. Eventually, I found an island where there’s more fish than meat.
3. Don’t be afraid to go around the island alone.
Igor showed me the Maslinica neighborhood, Martinis-Marchi castle, and a way to a beach. Then I went alone to an empty rocky beach. I swam also alone, although there were some yachts around. No fear. I was a little worried that nobody will notice if I drown. But as I got out the beach marine officers asked me about the temperature of the water and how I felt.
4. If something goes wrong, you can always sleep on the beach.
It was my first swimming this year. The water at the beginning of May was still cold. I swam for five minutes. Never mind, then I slept on the beach. And then I swam two more times.
5. Sometimes it is helpful to talk to a homeless man.
I mean a keen conversation, lavender and the fresh tuna I had!
6. Have a list of souvenirs from Solta.
Try to do it in advance, because when you come outside the tourist season, it’s complicated to get the souvenirs immediately. I didn’t succeed to take a bottle of Solta olive oil on the same day, so I had to go back again.
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