It is not a lot of fun running a news portal at the moment. Earthquakes, pandemics, corruption, the events in Washington, and the usual joy of Croatian political infighting and name calling – there just isn’t really much happiness or light relief.
At times such as these, I have found that one way to destress is to take a tour of the magical kingdom of the official Croatian website. Official Croatian websites are the gifts which keep on giving when you need a little boost in life. We, the peasants and Croatian taxpayers, pay handsomely for their existence, and I personally feel that they give excellent value for money.
(Croatia.hr screenshot in 2018)
The Croatian National Tourist Board is one of my favourites, with their truly innovative approach to promoting the hidden gems of global tourism. Where else in the world can you find an 18-hole golf course in the middle of a residential area in the centre of a capital city, as our tourism heroes were promoting a couple of years ago? Fancy a round? Learn more in Tourism Quiz of the Summer: How Many Golf Courses Will Croatia Have Next Week?
And if you are looking for comforting memories of your youth, look no further than the Ministry of Tourism, whose home page last year was celebrating that 2020 digital champion, the fax machine (but no email), a whole generation after most of its citizens had last used one.
(Screenshot of Croatian Ministry of Foreign Affairs homepage in English)
Not to be outdone – and worthy of an extra gold star and chocolate biscuit – the Croatian Ministry of Foreign Affairs continues to celebrate state of the art modern communications on its homepage in 2021. Not one, but TWO fax numbers to accompany the solitary phone number and email address. An outstanding use of taxpayers’ money. Can you imagine the convenience in 2021 of having a spare faxing option should you find the first fax number busy?
Yesterday, I came across a new source of light relief from an official website, and one which is going the extra mile to provide additional services to its users.
I don’t think I have ever frequented the website of FINA, the Croatian Financial Agency before, but it is seems that I – and more importantly, you – are really missing out.
A friend sent me a link and encouraged me to check it out – FAQ (cesta pitanja) on the Croatian Financial Agency FINA website. I have to say that I didn’t feel particularly inspired to click. What on earth could be so interesting about frequently asked questions on a Croatian financial agency website?
How wrong could I be?
FINA is clearly doing an outstanding job explaining the intricacies of the Croatian financial system, as there were only two questions on the FAQ page. I am not a financial expert, but I will confess to being a little surprised by the oft-asked questions.
(Screenshot from fina.hr)
Why is the sky blue?
Why is the Earth round?
Weighty topics, and one which some institutions would go into great detail to explain. But not our efficient Croatian Financial Agency, which clearly understands that time is money, managing to succinctly answer both demanding questions with just one – indeed, the very same – word:
‘Zato…’ – just because…
Impressive stuff, and sound financial insights that FINA has been selflessly delivering since 2018, apparently.
Sadly – presumably due to budget cuts – this essential public service is seemingly no longer available. Inexplicably, after these explanations about the blueness of the sky and the roundness of Mother Earth did the rounds on social media, the page was removed from the FINA website yesterday. Perhaps it was a conspiracy from the Flat Earthers trying to quash propaganda, it is not quite clear.
But the good news for us, the peasant taxpayers, is that all is not lost, and our tax dollars have been well-invested in a Google legacy. It seems FINA has demonstrated some commendable SEO skills, easily beating the likes of Wikipedia in the important Croatian-language search terms for ‘why is the sky blue’ and ‘why is the earth round.’
So the next time you object to those high taxes, take a moment to consider the additional value being provided on your behalf before you judge.
I am not an expert on FINA, but I know a man who is very passionate about it, and I reached out to him for comment. Political guru, digital champion and all-round Croatian brainbox, Marko Rakar, kindly spared a few moments from his busy schedule doing whatever he does in that black office of his to offer the following thoughts:
“Foreigners have real trouble grasping the meaning of FINA since there is nothing like it anywhere in the modern world. It is basically a government-imposed middleman, in reality a cancerous tissue on our economy, which uses its administrative monopoly to collect about 1 billion kuna in various fees without providing a single useful and/or market competitive or necessary service. It is estimated that they alone can account for about 1% of lost GDP (for every single year of their existence).
“Yet, in order to justify its existence, this zombie life-sucking institution tries to influence or meddle in just about any remotely financial activity while demonstrating gross incompetence overall inefficiency. They do it spontaneously, without a plan, strategy or even tactics, so it is no surprise that they have now moved into deeply philosophical subjects such as why the sky is blue or why the earth is round. It could be fun to ask them how much they charged Croatian taxpayers to answer these self-evident questions.”
If you have any inspirational gems from the magical kingdom of official Croatian websites that you feel should be brought to the attention of those funding them, contact [email protected] Subject Genius.
