How to Define Croatia: The Internet Speaks

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What do people around the world think or know about Croatia? A selection of best comments on the subject on December 28, 2017

We live in an age of Facebook likes, ratings, comments and online reviews. It has never been easier to sway the collective opinion of the public or destroy a reputation in a matter of minutes, be it a person or a business. With great power comes great responsibility… but we’re not so fond of the latter. It’s the sense of power that we like.

Now, it might be easy to rate a restaurant or a hotel. You ordered your steak medium rare and got it well done. Your Airbnb was crawling with cockroaches. Waiters were rude. You got overcharged. Easy.

What if you had to rate an entire country?

Imagine you had to sum up your impressions of Croatia in a TripAdvisor comment. You have to review your entire experience and cover politics, the economy, the population, the tourist offer and whatever else pops into your head… in a couple of lines. What would you say?

Have a think. Write it down if you’d like.

It might be something like this:

Top guys. Great at sport. Excellent food. Beautiful landscape. Decent women. Make good immigrants.

Just needs to channel more of your Austrian side and less of your Italian side. And move on from your past, its holding you back.

The best succinct depiction of Croatia I’ve ever seen online, save for the fact I’m very fond of our Italian side.

Inspired by this random comment I stumbled upon, I’ve decided to browse further and see what the anonymous commenters around the world have to say about our country, ranging from respectable forums to the murky pits of 4chan. For some lighthearted fun, here’s a selection of quips and philosophical thoughts that stood out the most. Let’s start with something simple:


A nice place for vacation. Great sand and warm water. Cheap too.

Short and straight to the point. Never thought the quality of sand might be one of Croatia’s selling points – thanks to the nameless tourist from Poland for pointing it out. Moving on:


I don’t know anything about croatia, which is usually a good thing since you only hear bad things about other countries, probably a very good thing since you’re next to other countries famous or their genocides and export of gypsies

Oh. Okay.


Let’s lighten up with a round of sports, all of the following being answers to ‘what do you know about Croatia’:

water polo

Fair enough.

Mirko Cro Cop

Fair enough.

Mirko Cro Cop!

Two more mentions of Cro Cop, by the way. 


Unfazed by adoration.

We keep losing to you in football

Sorry Turkey.

I used to have a massive crush on Mario Mandžukić. Like, don’t judge me or anything, but jesus is this man attractive. I kinda passed away with the time, but I am still a massive fan of Croatian Football Team!

What do you know about Croatia? Mandžukić’s godlike physique. 

Modric, he’s so underrated

Is he?

Love croatia. Been in Ogulin for 2 weeks inland and out and about in the hinterlands. Been great. Very friendly nationalistic people.

All due respect to Ogulin, it might not make for the best representation of the entire country. But good to hear they had a nice time!


second best slavs

Said he, failing to let us know who takes the gold.

went there once over the summer with pops and family friends who spoke the language. easily the best beach I’ve ever been to.

Again, we’ll need more info.


You don’t respect deals and you lie a lot. All in all you’re my 4th favorite neighbour

Oh my God, more inf… oh wait, that’s Slovenia speaking. They have a total of 4 neighbours. Thanks, Slovenia.


Croatia, in my opinion, is the leading South Slavic country. You have a long, fairly great history and are not a complete shit-hole.

The criteria for greatness are low these days.

Way too f*cking touristy country. Zagreb is the only actual Croatian populated city in Croatia. Bosnia and Serbia are more authentic. Serbian girls are hotter.

In your opinion.



Last person asking the important questions


Um Croatia joined EU on 1st of July 2013?

Right when I thought this was the most peculiar choice of fact to go with…. this happened:

The picture of Stjepan Filipović being executed by the Germans during WWII. I learned about it through the Norwegian author Jens Bjørneboe who had the picture hanging over his writing desk.

The more you know.


My online Croat gf just broke up with me.
Was just about to book a flight but she got a real bf
Thanks Croatia


Your city, Pula means dick in Romanian.

Good to know. According to another comment, it also stands for chicken in Albanian.

– Catholic Turks

– Rightful Venetian clay

USA and Italy have spoken, respectively.


beatiful country, shame that you guys can’t go to the beach without seeing all the tourists

True. The best beach or just any beach, though?

The only thing I know about Croatia is a photo of a beach I saw once.

Again with the mysterious beaches!


Was it this beach?


Life on the Croatian coast was interesting and it seemed to me as if God had mashed Italians with Slavs. I was initially surprised at the quality of pasta dishes that I could find in Split’s restaurants.

Great sand and great pasta!


I disagree with those who insist that Croatia is just as Balkan as Serbia, but I also disagree with those who insist the Croatia is just as Central European as Slovenia or Austria and has no Balkan traits.

So… on a scale of Serbia to Austria, how Balkan would you say Croatia is?

It is a Balkan country which can be good or bad. I think for how similar Croatia/Bosnia/Serbia is they shouldn’t be fighting as much as they do. I bet it’s a beautiful country like the rest of the Balkan Peninsula but is probably ignored. They invented the tie! 😀 Besides that I don’t know. I’d like to visit there and see what it’s like but I don’t have the time or patience to learn Croatian. :p

Call up some people from Dubrovnik and ask them how ignored they feel Croatia is these days – but only after you’ve learned some Croatian.

I have to admit that I know nearly nothing about your country. As a result, I do not really have an opinion about your country and also no stereotypes. The only thing I know is that some friends of mine really enjoyed their vacation in your country.

Very diplomatic and polite. Wasn’t a surprise to see the person is German.


The only country which has a checkerboarded motive flag.

Huh. And for the winner:


Heard of the name. All I know is that it’s in Europe. It doesn’t sound nice judging by the name. Sounds like croak.


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