Adverbs, Cocks and Dalmatian Furniture: Lost in Translation in Croatia

Google Translate is not your friend.

A wise person once said ”English is the language through which I reach hearts from various corners of the world” and never were truer words spoken. English, in its traditional form (British, sorry everyone else but it is what it is) is, in spite of the deep complexities harboured by most Germanic languages, difficult and often seemingly senseless rules and countless regional versions, a very beautiful language.

Nobody expects anyone to have the grip of the language that William Shakespeare had, most English people who aren’t well versed in grammar and language struggle to understand Olde English and that’s another thing entirely, but less than educated underestimations of the difficulty of this language can result in some tragic, and absolutely hilarious tongue-twisting masterpieces. In our previous three editions of Lost in Translation in Croatia, we introduced you to free hand jobs, smallpox, bitches, leprosy, a burek named desire and showed you the way to the ”see”. In this, our fourth edition, we aim to take you on yet more linguistic adventures.

Basically leaving rubbish in this area is prohibted and I can only assume that ”private possession” means private land/property, what it doesn’t mean is that there is some prohibition to delay the sweeping of anything.

Ah, Dalmatian furniture. A good price to redo your entire house you might think. Dalmatinska garnitura in this case is in reference to what the food, in this case, fish and squid, comes with. Blitva and potatoes, certainly not a three-piece suite and a wooden floor that collects dust too easily.

But is it really a good bay?

Ah, if I had one euro for every time I saw some bizarre, stretched out English variation of ”prilozi” I’d be a very rich person, unfortunately it doesn’t seem that that day will come any time soon. While there is no single correct word that could be used in English for the Croatian word prilozi (which means additions or extras to a meal in some looser manner) some of them are so far out its difficult not to crack a smile when coming across them in a menu. I can definitely see how a restaurant owner could arrive to ”contributions” ”supplements” or even ”attachments” in his naivity and overwhelming desire to sell food, but adverbs? Tumbleweed, I’m afraid.

If you’re dull, don’t even attempt to come through this door, the handle won’t even work for you. Of course, what we were going for here was personnel/staff.

Grad Vodice would like to alert you all to the fact that you shouldn’t leave your stuff on the beach in an attempt to secure a place in the sun otherwise your stuff will be taken away by the communal authorities. What this doesn’t imply, not that the sign would ever suggest otherwise, is that you shouldn’t leave your stuff in case of something that would make one mourn, such as a death in the family, nor should you attempt to leave your stuff intended for mourning for other people. Not only will the communal authorities take your belongings, they’ll have it taken FROM them too. No chance of you ever getting it back, basically.

Ah, the irritating Croatian word ”tek”, it can mean ”just” or it can mean ”meal”. Not much difference (yes, sarcasm implied). In any case, the restaurant staff JUST wish you good, nothing else, they don’t wish you any additional success, but that might be offered in the prilozi on the menu.

Who doesn’t like ”sweat ceacks”? I can’t say I’ve ever tried one but I’m not sure I’d be able to resist should it be offered to me. The complain book would certainly not be my first port of call.

Surprisingly, there is no need for a plumber in this case in spite of what this sign might suggest. Preljevi are toppings. As for trained apples? Don’t let me begin.

Pretty straight forward if you’re drinking alcoholic drinks or, God forbid, drinks with alcohol in them and you’re underag.

Just like with prilozi, if I had a euro for every time I’ve seen ”parking” (which, by the way, in the more modern, casual spoken Croatian, is a commonly used word), spelt with letters missing, added on or swapped around, well, I wouldn’t be doing this as a job, put it that way.

The ever evolving word ”pomfrit” has taken on yet another, even shorter form. Either that or this peculiar pronunciation is designed for the short-tongued.

Heard it on the grapevine, quite literally.

Essentially, you need to be able to present a receipt in order to use the toilet facilities, hopefully no clouds were harmed during the making of this truly aesthetically pleasing and beautifully designed sign.

Aside from looking like bleach mixed with 70’s wall paint and emptying your wallet faster than a gold digger, it seems that cocktails do more than get you that embarrassing kind of drunk. Cocktails also allegedly inspire the season (I’d like to know which, because the headches are the same throughout the year), not only do they do that, but they cause booth your siggt and your traste to enjoy it. While it is true that they traste nice, my siggt tends to become somewhat impaired after several.

The Red Cross is always ready to help, as long as you provide the dictionary.

Can’t say I’ve ever heard of the place, but original products are original products!

Sex does sell, just not usually alongside carbonated drinks. That being said, the economy is tough.

I can’t help but wonder if these products are anything similar to those being made in ”Craotia” because Kroešja is quite close by. In any case, it is high time we started spending a bit more and investing into the European economy instead of constantly buying cheap plastic from Čajna and lining the pockets of the ungrateful.