The S word is in Croatian what it also is in the English language, it’s shit. Quite literally, shit. It doesn’t cross into the threshold of sheep or mouse genitals like the K word does, and it doesn’t blow p*ssy smoke quite like the P word does (don’t even ask, just click the link above), but despite being rather tame in comparison, it’s just as diverse.
Let’s begin with the most basic use of this word when swearing in Croatian – sranje, which means shit. Not, under any circumstances, to be confused with ”stanje” (which is how you’d describe how something stands, such as how much data you have left on your phone plan, what the situation is, or what condition a car you’re selling is currently in). Let’s delve deeper into just some of the more common ways in which sranje can be used and modified to fit just about any situation.
Sranje – As highlighted above, this is just your basic ”shit”. You’d use it in the exact same way you use it in English. Dropped your phone? Sranje. Lost your debit card? Sranje. Perhaps you’re wondering why you’re talking all this sranje like I am right now (Ponekad se pitam zasto pricam sva ta sranja). Stepped in… well, shit? Then yeah, sranje.
Usrati se – To use the toilet. You figure out which number this involves, and whether you even need to discuss it with others at all… Alternatively, if you’d prefer not to discuss your bowel movements, you could say something like: Now this is all going to go to shit (Ovo ce sad sve usrati), or, if you’re not into surprise parties, you might worry how today is your birthday and you’re shitting it (rodjendan mi je i zelim se usrati od straha).
Sasrati se – Go back to being sixteen and attempting to sneak your mum’s vodka out to go and drink on a park with your friends and thinking you’re the next criminal mastermind because you filled it back up with tap water and she’d never be able to tell, but then she pours herself a glass… Or how about when your boss asks you whether or not you actually did that thing he asked you to do four weeks ago. Or maybe you’re a business owner who has failed to declare a few kuna here and there… You might say ”Sasro’ sam se kad…” (I was shitting myself when…) and enter the situation as you see fit.
Srati na veslo – This is that phenomenon when, while performing an action, you or someone else performing said action unknowingly and unintentionally messes something up that has nothing to do with whatever that action was, but the initial action had the misfortune of being in the immediate vicinity of what followed.
Let’s say you went to move a heavy table across the floor and in doing so you damaged the tiles. Maybe you moved something closer to you and knocked something else over in the process. It can be used for a variety of situations. If you’re a fan of the legendary British sitcom Only Fools and Horses, you’ll know of the scene with Rodney and Del Boy and the chandelier. That’s one good example.
Nasrati se – To say something stupid or inappropriate and then feel the instant burn of shame or embarrassment in your cheeks. An American tourist once asked if ”they fold the walls back in at the end of the tourist season” in Dubrovnik. Needless to say, this is a perfect example of where this term fits like a glove.
Srati kao vidra – This one is so funny for me as someone who has celiac disease. You’d use this if you (for some odd reason) want to showcase just how proud you are that you have zero issues with erm… going to the toilet. Never been constipated and are very regular? You’d use this. Had an Indian that you thought you had the stomach lining to handle but it turns out your European internals aren’t all that experienced? Definitely use this. Got chronic stomach issues? Salmonella? Norovirus? You get it. This one is for you.
Usrati se k(a)o grlica – You’d use this if you were particularly anxious about something, like you’re shitting yourself out of fear or worry to the point where you might (proverbially of course) die of fear (umrijeti od straha). Let’s say you remembered something you urgently needed to do and you felt your stomach drop… you might say something along the lines of Ajme, usro sam se k(a)o grlica.
Srati – This could be one of several things. Perhaps you are indeed, using the toilet and have no problem discussing the nature of that experience with a crowd. If expelling some of the content of your guts isn’t a topic you tend to talk about all that much, you could use this to say how someone (or perhaps you) is ”talking shit” or going on about nothing.
Posrati se sam sebi u usta – To end up doing something you said you wouldn’t. Let’s say your friend who said she would absolutely never go out with that arrogant guy but then you see them together at a fancy restaurant, I guess she posrala se sama sebi u usta.
Prosrati se – To come out with something rather shocking or even unacceptable in a certain situation that really, really doesn’t call for it. Let’s say you’re having dinner with your other half’s family and you start talking about something not exactly family friendly. Maybe you told a mildly sexist joke to your boss and the laughs are painfully non-existent. We’ve all done something embarrassing in front of someone who absolutely shouldn’t have seen or heard it.
Srati kvake – This is once again a term you could use when referring to talking shit or perhaps more specifically bullshit. Oh come on, don’t talk bollocks/bullshit/shit (Ma daj ne seri kvake!)
Usrati motku – You’d use this if you’re referencing messing something up, doing something wrong, putting your foot in your mouth (not literally, unless you happen to do yoga), saying something wrong or something coming out in a way you didn’t intend for it to. It is also very often used in situations where something has gone wrong (because of you), and now you’ve got some unpleasant consequences ahead of you as a result. I’ve gone and done it again! (Ufff opet sam usro motku).
For more on Croatian language (not just swearing in Croatian, I promise), make sure to keep up with our dedicated lifestyle section.
