Best wishes to the new Croatian Prime Minister, from TCN’s From Croatia with Madness column.
Dear Tihomir,
I write to you on behalf of all Croatian buildings.
Everybody thinks you are crazy. As top manager in a pharmaceutical sector, you were making possibly up to 1 million euros a year, OK, the Croatian media really like to pump the figures up, so let’s say that you were making half of that, which means that as a manager you earn 2 million euros in four years. As Croatian Prime Minister you will earn 140 thousand euros during four years in your new job.
Until 23 December nobody knew who you were, who your wife is, what you like doing in your free time, what school your kids go to. As of the 24 December all Croatian buildings are entitled to know when you got up, who you drank your coffee with, what you had for lunch, who did you have your lunch with, and what did it mean.
Five days ago nobody cared that you do not speak the Croatian language so well, however after you renamed Croatian citizens (građani) into buildings (građevine) in your first public speech, everybody cares.
One Croatian politician said that you are a very successful team player, yet you have never played with such a team before. You played and won many corporate matches, but until now you have never entered the political arena.
It is much easier to work for buildings than for people in Croatia. Croatian buildings do not object – they are objects. They have been standing here for centuries with minimum maintenance. I hope since all Croatian buildings are obliged to have Energy Certificates as of 2013 that we will have enough energy to survive this latest experiment and I hope, dear Tihomir, that you are not the crazy one. I wish you and all of us a lot of luck, lot of guts and lot of common sense and social awareness. We need you to be sane if we want to remain safe and sound, otherwise Croatia will be proclaimed the largest open mental illness institution in the world.
Sincerely Yours,
A Dalmatian Building
